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I once had a female friend who went to Europe on vacation; France,
Italy, Spain, that sort of thing. She came back walking on air, talking
about the art, the cafes, the food and the Olde Worlde Charm. One thing
that surprised me was her mentioning how she enjoyed walking down the
street, past the open air cafes and having the men look at her.
"Wait a second!" I interrupted, "You hate that! You positively hate
that! You have complained on numerous occasions about guys leering at
you as you walk by."
"In Europe, they do it differently," she said, "In America, men look
at women like they're looking at prey. In Europe, men look at women like
they're looking at art."
That comment has stayed with me over the years. I've looked at a lot
of art. I've looked at a lot of women. Sometimes I think I understand:
When you look at great art in a museum, you understand that it doesn't
belong to you, it will never belong to you and the sense of beauty and
the joy you feel when you look at it are within you. And although
the art evokes it, the art doesn't owe you anything.
In American culture, there's a definite hunter/prey relationship
between beautiful people and those that look at them. It's more common
with men looking at women, but it does happen the other way around;
think Elvis, think Justin Timberlake.
You never go to a museum and hear some guy shouting at Venus de Milo,
"Yeah, baby, yeah! Wooo-hoo! Show me the rest! How about we drag
that pedestal back to my place and get it ON!"
But a good-looking woman walking down a metropolitan street might
hear something similar every few minutes.
I'm not here to change the world, and the world will little note, nor
long remember what is said at ProvocativeClothing.com, but I'd like to
float this observation: most of my male friends wish their female
partners would dress more provocatively. Most of the women I know are
afraid to go out dressed provocatively because of the negative attention
they draw. If we could reduce the negative attention, both sides would
be happier.